One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
