I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
