maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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