I should be sponsored by Trojan
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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