Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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