But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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