Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
