Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize