Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
