How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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