i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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