dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My butt remains clenched, sir.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
