I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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