she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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