Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
