all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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