Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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