dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
