Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
