The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
