He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize