I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
