Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I need a beard to bite.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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