At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
