Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
