is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
