i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Randomize
