I hate your face
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
