new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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