yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
