Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
