i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize