The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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