Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
