dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
