There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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