mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
