I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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