Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
