great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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