Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I need to calm my uterus...
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