oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
