He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
