Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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