I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
