she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
