just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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