You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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