rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
