Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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