i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
