Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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