That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
