Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
