I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
