I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
there is glitter all over my balls
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
