I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
